My Secret To Joy

We have a certain amount of time in our life, literally. Every second that goes by is gone, never to return again. Sometimes I consider that as I waste an hour on hold or get upset over something ubsurd and realize I used the time of my life for nothing. 

Does it give you pause?

Are You List Maker?

Some people plan their life, their day, out to the very second. While others  just ride the wind of spontaneity. I have friends, actually I’m married to a person, who lives their life by lists. Now don’t get me wrong, I make lists. I am a calendar and planner hoarder, but I use them as guides for “gotta get done” and then ideas for things that would be nice to get done. But a lot of people have routines of daily living that they live by, like self-imposed rules AND if they have to break the cycle, well they’re likely to be in for a very bad day.

Routines Comfort Some and Cause Anxiety In Others (Otters!)

Ha! I had a slip of my typing and wrote otters which is exactly the personality type that gets anxiety with routine. I should know, that’s my personality trait.

I’m just not that disciplined in life. It actually can make me anxious if every moment of everyday is all planned out…probably the opposite feeling of a person who is totally disciplined. For the disciplined, it is a safety net, to be in control and have a plan and work the plan. For me, if there is not room in my day for spontaneity, I will crumble and fall. My need to be able to act on an impulse will win when ever possible and if I have a list of must do’s that don’t get done, that is where the problems begin. My “not dones” work against me by making me feel behind, overwhelmed and a bit of a failure.

Some of my friends get up at the same time everyday, they have a morning routine, look amazing, find time for exercise, baking, all of their laundry is done, their home is perfect and they not only know what they are having for dinner tonight but they know what they are having next Thursday. I had a neighbor once who told me every Monday was Spaghetti, Tuesday was Fried Chicken, Wednesday was Meatloaf and so on and so on. At first I thought what a great idea, but in the next minute, I started thinking of all of the great food I would miss out on in my life if I lived like that. In fact, I am known for looking up a recipe on the internet whenever I need to bring a dish or have people over for dinner. OH, and BTW, whatever I take usually is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

What I am trying to express is that a strict routine makes me feel locked in. It would lead to depression for me.

And thus it is my SECRET TO JOY!

I am writing for the woman who gets up because she wakes up…sometimes way earlier than the rest of the household, sometimes later. Maybe one day she wants to get right to some pressing items for the day before eating breakfast or taking a shower and dressing. Are there any of you out there? Or am I all alone as the roque homemaker who lives in the spirit of the moment?

There is good to be said for both you know.  You will get your lists whittled away, but in the course of life what may you miss? Just sayin’  :).

Over the years I have gotten so much better at keeping my home organized and clean and my laundry done and having a plan for dinner at least the day of but I don’t have a laundry day, a shopping day, a cleaning day. I simply do a bit of everything everyday and when I can’t because I am off at an appointment, out of town or having one of my spontaneous afternoons, I live with it until the next day that I will be home all day and can get caught up.

As a young mother, I was surrounded by neighbors that seemed to have a perfect life, meaning you could show up any day at any time and everything was in order and dinner was cooking. I felt like such a failure. This is one of the reasons that God tells us not to compare ourselves to others. It leads to nothing good. Anyway, now as a mother of adult children, I realize that because I sat to play with my kids, to cuddle or go somewhere instead of making a gourmet dinner or getting all the laundry put away, that I was not a failure . My kids don’t remember the laundry or that they ate a frozen dinner or fish sticks. They didn’t care. They had me. My attention and my time was theirs. We still play together as adults!

A Very Special Diversion

The other day I needed to grab some groceries for a salad that we were taking to a dinner party. (Yes, I just looked it up on Pinterest and printed it out.)  I looked at the clock and it was noon. I decided to call my mom and see if she had eaten yet,…she is 89 years old and lives on her own and still drives…I hadn’t seen her since Christmas even though we live about 10 minutes apart and it is early February. She answered and had not eaten, so I told her I would pick her up.

Having no idea where we were eating, I just went through in my mind grocery stores and restaurants, but something kind of good not fast food.

I decided on this little cafe boutique called Imogenes. They had moved from over by me a few years ago and I had not visited them at their new location which was closer to my Mom’s home.

We enjoyed a delicious meal

Really delightful menu and our food was tasty!

Caught up on things going on, but passed on the amazing desserts!

Explored the boutique.

This was a stunning table scape that would be perfect for a Valentines Day party.

 

So many cute baby items, I could have taken 20 pictures. As we find out the gender of our anticipated grand baby this weekend, I am certainly returning to gather some great items for the nursery project.

Really found these frames to be beautiful in their rustic character.

Bought a couple of things

I bought one of each color to go in a basket on my fireplace mantel at our lake house. It sits beneath a picture of sailboats. Now that I look at the picture, maybe I should have bought the boats as well!

I grabbed my groceries and dropped my mom off as I headed home to make my salad and had to be at our dinner party at 5:30!

Had I planned that little outing in my day I would have freaked out and likely cancelled my mom over the stress of it. But squeezing it in on my terms with my time? Ecccelente!

I had a wonderful lunch. Got to see my Mom. Enjoyed browsing a Boutique. Bought something to remember the day. Received an Inspiration for my Blog. None of it on my list, all because I acted spontaneously!

Oh and here is the salad too! Bonus 🙂

The Recipe!

So which are you, the planner or the spontaneous? What works for you and what works against you? 

I am updating this post 5 years later, Mom has passed away now for going on 3 years and to see her smile in that photo reminds me again how important it is to leave room to breathe. Why did I let nearly two months pass without visiting her when we lived so close?

The message here just truly hits home for me as 5 years have pasted. You can’t get time back. When people are gone, they are gone. Take the time and forget the lists. Take your kids or grandkids out to a park and play. Call a friend and set up a trip to visit them. Spend time with your parents or siblings,

My life has changed so much in those 5 years. I’ve moved two times and getting ready for another.

I have three grandchildren and another on the way!

At the moment, my husband works out of town 4 days a week and we don’t love it. So, this week as I was supposed to be heading home after spending the weekend with him, I spontaneously changed my plans. I cancelled meetings and found a place to stay that took dogs since I had them with me.

People are so much more treasured than our “to do” lists and we’ll never remember the things we didn’t get done on them, but the memories of time spent having fun with someone we will cherish always.

Please consider subscribing. It’s on the sidebar. Take a listen to the song linked below. I love the Scripture it is based on.

Thank you for stopping by today,

Psalm 90:12  Teach us to number our days, that we might gain a heart of wisdom.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8KgMUZo1Qc